more scattered thoughts

[beige_alert]

More thoughts regarding the Germany trip:

• My mother also went to Europe, just weeks before I did. She traveled by boat down the Rhine, Main, and Danube from Amsterdam to Budapest. It was a very different sort of thing for her, a bunch of Americans in an organized tour, than for me staying in my friends’ homes. I got to do fun things like grocery shopping. Visiting friends for a few days and doing touristy-things together isn’t exactly real life, but it is much more of an exposure to real life than a cruise with group tours to the big tourist sites. She missed out on the countless observations of the little differences between here and there that so fascinated me. And many of those I really only noticed after the second or third family I stayed with and I realized that I was seeing things that are typically German rather than just quirks of a particular household.



• It’s good to be back home, but even that was an adjustment. The first night I got up from bed to use the toilet and was really consciously thinking about where I was. Home, yes. That carpet should feel familiar under foot (though it oddly didn’t.) Bathroom is across the hall. No need to worry about waking anyone up—no one else here. Light switch is inside, as always around here.



• We travel to have new experiences. One such experience for me was getting genuinely drunk for the first time in my life. I know many people try that before age 35, but some of us wait longer. And travel to a foreign country. The first bottle of wine shared with aryana_filker was fine. The second, plus whatever that high-proof stuff J. brought out was, might have been a bit much. Might have been, yes. Anyway, it was an interesting experience. Didn’t feel so good the next day, I’ll admit. Maybe should try to remember to drink a bit less next time. Crazy Germans. But I don’t regret it and among friends at their home is a safe environment for trying such things.



• I told people before the trip that my travel plans were to fly to Düsseldorf and follow the charming German women around wherever they led me. That, honestly, was the majority of what I knew of our plans. I will admit I was a bit nervous about traveling alone across the ocean to a foreign country where they speak a foreign language to stay with people who I’d never so much as seen in person before. Sure I’d exchanged lots of e-mail with aryana_filker and lisande, but, still, unlike visiting someone in Chicago, where I can just go home if we decide we can’t stand each other, Germany is rather far away. And kinder1of5, really, I hardly knew at all. Sure, lisande said she’d meet me at the airport with legoline and take me to her home, and, sure, I expected that to happen, but I couldn’t completely shake the thought that it had better not be some awful joke on the silly trusting American.
  
  My hosts all had the same sort of nervousness, too, hoping I’d turn out to be the sort of guest one would actually want. One did say, when we talked about this, that she wouldn’t have done such a thing had she not had her husband for support should it be needed, something I fully understand.
  
  It all worked out better than could be imagined. By the time I got to Bielefeld B., who I’d not so much as heard of before the trip, offered her very nice guest bedroom for my use, fed me chocolate, and trusted me with keys to her flat so as to be able to let myself out while she was at work.
  
  I just cannot say enough about the kindness, generosity, and trust I received from everyone.

Comments

[aryana-filker.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I really was sorry for the wine thing and that you felt bad the next morning!
But I must admit that getting drunk with friends has some funny aspects about it. *giggles* Hope you enjoyed the trip to the zoo in spite of the hangover... cruel crazy Germans...

[beige-alert.livejournal.com]

It was funny, yes. And we'll be giggling over this story for years to come, I'm sure. The zoo trip was fun even though I didn't feel completely well.

[aryana-filker.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[barbarakitten-t.livejournal.com]

At least when you got involved with alcohol there was no flame involved and it wasn't isopropyl.

It sounds like a wonderful time!!! If they had asked me I could have told them that you are a wonderful houseguest.

[lisande.livejournal.com]

He absolutely is! And it was so good having another filker here and being able to make some music in the evenings! :)

[lisande.livejournal.com]

It was wonderful having you here and showing you around!

Have to say it one more time: I blame my father for enjoying that so much, and now I can understand why he enjoyed doing the same thing with me when I was young! (And showing off some extra knowledge is intoxicating in a way... ;)

Btw - I still haven't remade the guest bed. Shadow loves sleeping there! *G*

[beige-alert.livejournal.com]

It was so very nice having you show me around! You really did a wonderful job of showing me around and translating.

[lisande.livejournal.com]

:)) *beams* Thank you!

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

*laughs* They say there are three phases in culture shock: 1) when you arrive and everything is /ugh/ different, 2) when you stay longer and realize you are now doing some things /their/ way and then 3) when you get back home suddenly everything is /ugh/ different yet again.

Personally, I found the last bit hardest. Like groping for the light switch in the bathroom. I really remember that.
I wonder why they do that here? It's only for the bathroom. Every other light switch is where it belongs - in the room.

As for the drinki9ng bit: Yeah, we are nasty. We take a certain pleasure in the fact that Germans learn about their alcohol level gradually, starting with the soft stuff around 16, and the stronger stuff at 18, and when you are 25 you usually know how much you can hold. Americans with their low-alc beer can be easily tempted to all the "Obstler" stuff I avoid like the devil shies holy water.

Apart from that we are rather friendly around here. I'm glad you found that too and enjoyed your stay :-)

[beige-alert.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and for added confusion the bathroom light switch sometimes *is* inside.

I'm still mostly dreaming of Germany and still have to consciously remember that I'm back home when I wake up.

I knew I was drinking rather more than usual. At one point I looked at the wine glass and asked aloud "how alert does Beige want to be?" But I think I ended up a bit less alert than I intended. Still, it was funny and probably the sort of thing worth trying once.

It was a truly wonderful trip, and I need to come back.

[occams_pyramid]

I wonder why they do that here? It's only for the bathroom.

Mains electricity plus water is a very bad combination. Different countries have different regulations, but in general there are tight controls over what you can do with electricity in a bathroom. You really don't want a mains switch that can be touched by someone standing in a bath!

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

I thought so too, at first, but then there is a light switch in each of those bathroom-mirror-cupboard thingies you can get. There are three sockets, only covered with a loose plastic flap in my bathroom. Two of them within arm's length of the bath tub. In most smaller flats you even have a corner reserved for the washing machine and dryer, which, needless to say, need electricity. And that's 230 Volts in my neck of the woods.

I'm guessing it's a very old rule. I remember that old toilet stalls in ancient buildings do not have any other electricity but the light bulb on the ceiling, and the switch outside. I bet with better switches and more secure fuses and stuff they dropped the rule but habit still places the main switch outside the door :-)

[occams_pyramid]

I know it varies a lot between countries, but actual sockets sounds really dodgy. It's asking for some idiot to plug in a radio and prop that on the edge of the bath.

I think the UK has three different zones of what's allowed depending on how near the bath it is.

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

Yeah, over here you could do that. In every hotel room, or private bathroom. Kids learn not to use a hair dryer while in the tub and stuff like that. Surprisingly very little ever happens.
In more modern houses than ours there is a special fuse (ground fault circuit interrupter?) that'll click out if any power runs into earth. It gives you some safety.

I don't remember - don't they have sockets in the bathrooms in the US? Where do you plug in your razor? Or the electric toothbrush?

[beige-alert.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, always electric sockets in the bathroom in the US. Typically near the sink, actually. These days always with a ground fault circuit interrupter (GFCI), though older buildings might not have that (easy enough to add, though, just remove the old outlet and replace with a GFCI unit). These days the hair dryers always have their own built-in GFCI, just in case.

I have one light switch near the door (inside, of course) and two more near the toilet (for the light over the toilet and the light over the bath tub). Often all the switches are placed near the door, though.

[bardling.livejournal.com]

I will admit I was a bit nervous about traveling alone across the ocean to a foreign country where they speak a foreign language to stay with people who I’d never so much as seen in person before.
My hosts all had the same sort of nervousness, too, hoping I’d turn out to be the sort of guest one would actually want. One did say, when we talked about this, that she wouldn’t have done such a thing had she not had her husband for support should it be needed, something I fully understand.

Yes, I understand, too.
This made me think of over a decade ago, when I visited someone I'd only know via the internet for awhile and talked with, not only staying with him for a couple of weeks, but going to the Pennsic War with him, and with no check-up situation possiblities on it/me for anyone. Strangely enough, I had no doubts at all that things were ok, no fears that I'd need backup. I did feel nervous about whether we'd get on as well in person as we did online though. So yes, I grok. :)

Still, for the most part, people are good people. The world runs on trust & kindness, and lucky are those of us who are offered, can see and can offer themselves. Makes it a darn sight more pleasant than feelings suspicious all the time. ;)

I'm glad you had a lovely experience and enjoyed it so much.

[beige-alert.livejournal.com]

The world runs on trust & kindness, and lucky are those of us who are offered, can see and can offer themselves.

Lucky indeed :)