The coach explains the plan

[beige_alert]

I've joined the Wednesday evening workout group many of my speed skating friends are part of. I think clearly the best part of the interval workout (to the extent there is a best part of an interval workout) is the part where the coach lays out the plan. The plan is something along the general lines of "You'll skate 300 meters, rest 300, skate 300, rest 200, then 200 and 200, and twice 100 and 100, and..." and so on. And I'm thinking, dude, wait, I'm still just standing here and you haven't even finished explaining the workout and I've already forgotten most of what you said. We're going to get started and our brains will stop working due to lack of oxygen and we'll be reduced to doing what we always seem to do during the interval workouts, which is shout "Wait! Wait! What are we doing next?" to each other. Somewhere in the world I'm guessing there is a coach who is a former auctioneer. "Five five four hundred three hundred three hundred two hundred three hundred two hundred do I hear five hundred?"

Those skaters are just screwed.

Comments

Kind of like:

[maverick-weirdo.livejournal.com]

"the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-
know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-
you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-
officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said,"

[madfilkentist]

Just be glad your coach isn't named Zeno. "You skate 150 meters, then you skate 75, then you skate 37.5..."