Retroactive resolutions

It's time for the traditional Retroactive New Year Resolutions, things that I'm highly confident I'll have done last year:

• Spend a week living in a tent with my girlfriend and remain friends :)
• Enter speed skating races, set lots of new Personal Best times
• Spend enough time at the oval to become a better skater, and build the endurance and skill to skate a 3000 and like it
• Run a thousand kilometers
• Reset and reset again my half marathon PB, and run a marathon (first time is a free personal best!)
• Vent an Orbitrap Velos and pull off the top cover and take out the multipoles and lenses to clean everything, and put it all back together such that it actually works better than before messing with it.
• No high-speed crashes other than entertaining my fellow speed skaters with the usual long track no-harm-done-but-looked-really-cool falls and long slides on the ice. (They were teasing me for *days* after my last fall)
• Don't take up smoking.  (But keep up with the drinking)